Was feeling a bit stressed when i heard that one of my frens had been gg for a lot of interviews. Me? I've got none. maybe i'm too picky. maybe i nv try hard enuff. but those which i applied for, none get back to me.
had a bad hair cut
and jus now when i was pointing out to my mum that my bro should start cleaning his own room for his things just pile up at one corner and it may be a breeding ground for centipedes. Yes recently my house got centipedes appearing and i freaked out when i spotted a 5cm long centipede in my toilet jus now. Then when i tell my mum that bro should clean his room, she started to place the blame on me too, saying that both me and my bro dun initiate to help around the house and only when she pushed then we'll do. I was hurt when she said that. Din i help around the house? Who was the one who slept till noon and when woke up will just leave the house and return late at night? She was telling me i dun wash my own dishes like i used to and i'm becoming like my bro, not putting things back to where they were and getting more and more lazy. True. I dun wash the dishes now. Coz i just want my bro to do it! Shouldn't he perform some duty as well? In the past, my bro will wash the dishes and i'll do the rest. So why i can't leave him some duties as well?
fine...i'll not bring up any issues any more...coz all i get back is complains and finger-pointing. Fine...just blame me ba. everything that goes wrong is my fault. next time i'll just keep everything to myself. Communication is never easy...never....
depressed...
i need to get away...
and now...as i was typing this, my bro just came home and my mum asked if we're coming hm for dinner tmr night. my bro is not coming back and tmr got jazz gathering so i'm not coming hm for dinner either. then she was mumbling "everyone not coming hm for dinner". For the past few weeks, i tried to be at home for dinner le, to compensate for not accompanying my mummy enuff during the days of crazy rehearsals and project period. Maybe it's not enuff still, but sometimes i need to meet up with my frens once in a while, like for example, last night's gathering with my clique of uni frens who had graduated. We're very close during our uni life. And gym gathering. It's been ages since we met up. and jazz gathering, we also haven met up since the last post-cactus party and who noes when the next one will be since everyone will be so busy plus i've alr graduated. But, honestly, sometimes i have to think twice before i decide to meet up with my frens. I have to decide if this wk did i spent enough time with my mummy. and sometimes to meet with my frens and acc my mummy i have to sacrifice the time i spent with my bf.
can someone just tell me what to do????!!!!
this post is for me to vent my frustrations and thoughts for today... yen lin is a happy-go-lucky person. everything will be alright after a night's sleep. plus taiwan trip coming... i still have my own worries...hope i can totally 放心的去 without worrying too much about my family.
