the moment me and my cousin stepped into the class today. Dr Sim told us "if ur lecturer or professor is a nice and friendly guy, feel free to approach him. unless he is a bastard, then u dun need to give a damn la." me and my cousin were staring at each other wondering why he suddenly said that. Then i told her must be regarding the assignment that we handed up last wk.
then after the test we got back our assignment. what i guessed jus now was right. and he wrote on the board the distribution of the marks. i gt the lowest in class. no wonder after the test he asked me how i find the test. i said ok. and he told me i din do well for the assignment so hopefully this test will help to pull my marks up.
i can't help but feel disappointed with myself. And i can sense that my prof was disappointed in me too for he had high expectations for the class. But he's a super nice person, a fatherly figure indeed. it's not dat i din wan to approach him. I only started the assignment on the eve i had to hand up the paper and i wasn't in sch either. yes i cld have gone to sch and do but it's my free day so i'd rather dun waste time travelling and do it at hm. Nevertheless i still spend like 10hrs in front of the computer struggling with all those formulas and testing out the spreadsheets. Until i really cannot get the correct approach i use my own method which turns out to be wrong.
now reflecting why i did so badly this time, i had 2 reports to be done in the same wk. is that an excuse? i dun think so...after all it's abt ur own time management. i think i'm jus not cut out for the finance sector, even though this module is decision science, my own major, but three quarters of the class is finance student. i'm jus not smart enough. NUS is afterall a competitive environment, esp when ur in business with all the finance geeks out dere. I'm those who study hard but dun study smart but then it comes to study since young i had set high academic expectations for myself and the first setback i had was in A levels. Crying over spilled milk? maybe...but i am truly demoralized this time round...
not to add on many of my frens were alr finding jobs, writing resume and cover letters and going for interviews. what have i done? NONE of them. partially cos most of the jobs r for finance students but also partly cos i dun have the time...yaya...excuse agn. In fact, seriously i haven really sit down and seriously think what i wan to do in the future, what kinds of jobs i'm looking for. Even my cousin, a finance student who is smarter than me, is already thinking of going into NIE. my another fren who had jus graduated also applied for NIE and doin contract teaching now. not to mention there's also serena...Cousin said her rationale for doin so is cos the economy not doin well and she enjoyed teaching after giving tuitions. What abt me? What do i wan to achieve in my life? Go into logistics since dat's my specialization? i really dunno...i think my future is so bleak...go NIE? Come on Yen Lin!!! dun jus follow pple's footsteps!!! U need to hav a mind of ur own!!! I really need to sit down and think what i wan out of my life...this hol...when exams are over...
i love dance. ALL my frens noe...i even contemplated abt being a dance instructor since i dun like office work, i'm not ambitious nor entrepreneurial and currently i dunno what i really like to do...provided i am even qualified as a dancer in the first place since my techniques sux and i can't choreo. wth...after writing so much sad stuff...i really think i'm so useless and stupid and good-for-nth.
enough said...jus let me sad for a few days to let the spilled milk evaporate...ya hor..why not use cloth? Zzzzz i can even be lame when i'm sad...wth...
to everyone: good luck for all ur projects and studies...
coreen mei mei...thanks for recommending me this song...in love with it now =) someone once suggested to me that i should put include a song in my blog and so dere u go =) It's a soft rock version of the original song whh i think is nicer!
Dreaming of You by Selena
Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up and think of you
And I wish on a star that somewhere you are
Thinking of me too
Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room dreaming about you and me
Wonder if you ever see me
And I wonder if you know I'm there
If you looked in my eyes
Would you see what's inside
Would you even care?
I just wanna hold you close
But so far all I have are dreams of you
So I wait for the day
And the courage to say how much I love you
Yes I do!
I'll be dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room dreaming about you and me
Corazón
I can't stop dreaming of you
No puedo dejar de pensar en ti
I can't stop dreaming
Cómo te necesito
I can't stop dreaming of you
Mi amor, cómo te extraño
Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up and think of you
And I still can't believe
That you came up to me and said "I love you"
I love you too!
Now I'm dreaming with you tonight
Till tomorrow and for all of my life
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room dreaming with you endlessly
Dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room
I'll be dreaming of you tonight
Endlessly
And I'll be holding you tight
Dreaming...with you...tonight!
